Not Meant to Be
by ardavenport
Summary: General Kenobi views the holocron of Master Doombas about the a quest he took with Qui-Gon Jinn, Master Dooku and other Jedi to find their connection to the Living Force. (Doombas is a character from another story 'Jedi Dreaming'.)
1. Chapter 1

**NOT MEANT TO BE**

by ardavenport

* * *

 ***-o-*-o-*-o-* Part 1**

* * *

Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi waited alone in the private meditation room.

The door slid open.

Archivist Jocasta Nu entered, holding a cube in her two small palms before her.

"Master Kenobi," she said respectfully. She set the cube down on the thin plinth before him. "Master Doombas's holocron about his, um, excursion with Master Qui-Gon Jinn." Nu bowed to him with a polite smile and he returned it.

"Thank you."

She turned and swept from the room.

What a difference being appointed to the Jedi Council made, Obi-Wan thought. Not that Jocasta Nu had been too unpleasant to him before, but as soon as he entered the Archives she left two patrons, a couple of young Padawans, to attend to him. No waiting.

At least not at the Archives.

The war was making him wait. That happened a lot. Preparations for battles. Sieges. Patrolling. Supplies for millions of clone troops. They all required huge amounts of waiting, at the end of which would be a calamity of furious fighting, tragedy and death. Piles and piles of the dead on the battlefield afterward.

Obi-Wan did not like war. But the rest of the Council said that he was good at it, so they appointed him to their ranks three rotations ago.

And they made him wait. . . .

. . . . for intelligence reports about where the Separatists were moving their ships and battle droids. His former Padawan, Anakin Skywalker, had found other things to occupy himself with, which suited Obi-Wan well. The young Knight was not good at waiting, and even worse at hiding it since he rarely did. But he was terrifyingly good at war. And when they worked together, they were even better at it.

Obi-Wan would com him as soon as they got the necessary intelligence report. But for now. . . .

The holocron sat before him. The center glowed faintly greenish blue.

Years ago, when he was a Padawan, he had planned to take this journey someday with his former Master, Qui-Gon Jinn. He had not even known what it was then. He just knew that Qui-Gon sometimes took other Masters of the Temple out on quests for the Living Force. They would be gone for days, delving into the deeper knowledge of the Force that only Masters shared amongst themselves. Qui-Gon never spoke about it to him, but other Masters would continue to inquire when the next quest would be. So, Obi-Wan assumed that it was enlightening.

After he was knighted, he had planned to request that Qui-Gon take him alone, just the two of them, and show him the Living Force. But the emergence of the Sith ended that ambition, along with Qui-Gon's life back on Naboo. And now there was war and no time for any ambition but fighting it. Ending it.

That morning, Obi-Wan had woken up with the realization that with Anakin Knighted _and_ his appointment to the Council, he now had the experience, or at least the rank, to find out what had happened on those quests.

He had been disappointed to discover that Qui-Gon never made his own holocron. But someone who had gone with him one time did.

The Force alive around him, he passed his hand over the cube. It opened. The Force-form of Master Doombas appeared above it.

Doombas's image was broad in the shoulders, bald on top of his head, long hair tied in back, a full beard and mustaches covered the lower half of his face. And the image stood on two whole legs. Obi-Wan supposed that there was no reason for a holocron to have the artificial leg that Obi-Wan seen him with in life.

Doombas scowled:

 **_._._._._Before I start, I will tell you now that you should find this information yourself. Go on this quest with Qui-Gon Jinn. That would tell you better than this pale imitation.**

"I can't," Obi-Wan said quietly. "Qui-Gon is dead. And we're at war. I must settle for learning what I can."

The holocron looked surprised. Then sad. This it nodded.

 **_._._._._Then I will start at the beginning. . . .**

 **_._._._._When Master Dooku's first Padawan was seventeen, he told his Master that he needed to find his connection to the Living Force.**

 **_._._._._His Master asked him, 'Why? Have you misplaced it?'**

 **_._._._._It was a sarcastic answer to a pretty strange statement. Dooku's Padawan was exceptionally strong in the Living Force, the strongest in the Temple some said. If anyone had a true connection to the Living Force, it was him. But apparently Qui-Gon Jinn did not think he was as strong with it as he thought he should be. He had plateaued in his skills as a Jedi apprentice; he was not improving in his abilities despite his Master's training. Dooku had no complaints; Qui-Gon was an exceptional student. But his Padawan felt like he had stagnated and until he found out why, he could never be as powerful a Jedi as he should be. He thought that the problem was that he did not have as deep a connection to the Living Force as he should.**

 **So, he had to find his true connection to the Living Force.**

 **_._._._._'Go find it then,' his Master said. He was also probably grumpy about his Padawan announcing that he had to go elsewhere than his Master's side for his learning.**

 **_._._._._So, Qui-Gon Jinn left his Master's room, left the living area levels, left the Temple. To go find his true and more stronger connection to the Living Force.**

 **_._._._._Five rotations later, the Jedi Council assigned Dooku and his Padawan to go on a mission and was surprised to be informed that only Dooku was available because his Padawan was still out looking.**

 **_._._._._Dooku assured the Council that his Padawan was capable and always had good reasons for the things he said, no matter how unusual.**

 **_._._._._The Council accepted this and sent Dooku on the mission alone.**

 **_._._._._Seven rotations after that, after Dooku had returned from that first mission, they sent him on another one. Alone. Because his Padawan was still out on his quest.**

 **_._._._._The second mission took a little longer. And when Dooku returned ten rotations later, his Padawan had still not returned.**

 **_._._._._Dooku was beginning to think that his Padawan was a bit dimmer than he'd thought, taking so long to find the Living Force right in front of him, but Qui-Gon Jinn turned up the next day. . . . Unwashed. Wearing strange clothes. Having nothing on him that he had left with except his credit chit and his lightsaber.**

 **_._._._._So his Master asked him where and how he found his true connection to the Living Force.**

 **_._._._._Qui-Gon Jinn bowed and answered, 'I found it in myself, Master. I found my connection was not measured in my power or strength, but in my balance with the Living Force and my purpose. And my strength would come from that.'**

 **_._._._._Dooku disagreed. A stronger connection to the Force always meant that Jedi would be more powerful; they went together. It looked to him as if his Padawan had gotten it backwards. But even he had to agree that his Padawan's focus and strength were much improved after his quest and led him to begin discussing with the Council the time for his Padawan's Trials. Members of the Council were impressed; they said that he had learned some things about the Force that even great Masters never understood. And he had found it all on his own, at his age, too.**

 **_._._._._And that was that.**

 **_._._._._Until a few years after Qui-Gon Jinn was knighted, when someone he knew asked him about how he trained to be be more powerful in the Living Force, since she had a Padawan who was strong with it and she felt that she was missing something.**

 **_._._._._Qui-Gon Jinn said he had to show her, for her to really understand.**

 **_._._._._But they had to ask permission. Dooku had all the authority he needed to let his Padawan go wander off. But Knights have duties. They asked the Council and they said, 'Yes'. As long as he took three of them with him, and a few other Knights, and they didn't take any longer than five rotations.**

 **_._._._._So, they all went out.**

 **_._._._._Five rotations later they came back. The three Council members approved. The Knight who first asked was exhausted. But she understood and could better train her Padawan. But a couple of the other Knights did not get it, even after Qui-Gon told them what was right in front of them. The Council told him that he should only take Masters after that, and they would only get three rotations.**

 **_._._._._And that's the way it's been ever since. Every few years, Qui-Gon Jinn takes a group out on a journey to find their true connection to the Living Force. They usually get it, at least most of them. There are some in the Temple strong in the Living Force who have asked Qui-Gon Jinn to guide them. But he always takes them aside for a bit and then sends them out on their own. Says that's the best way. But he's happy to guide others who are a little slower but want to learn.**

 **_._._._._So, if I tell you this, you have to vow to go out your own and find your true connection to the Living Force. This is empty time otherwise."**

The small holocron-figure stood there with a challenging expression on its hairy face.

"If I am alive to do so, I will," Obi-Wan promised solemnly.

The holocron's expression softened before going on.

 **_._._._._Well, this is how it started for me. . . ."**

 **_._._._._There were seven of us that Qui-Gon Jinn was leading. Me, Master Yoda, Elest Emordi, Jemjas, Peortamadanatu Bon, Shaak Ti and Yetor Icin. Pretty odd mix.**

 **_._._._._I'd always been meaning to find out what Qui-Gon Jinn did on these things, but I would have thought that Master Yoda would have known all he needed about the Living Force. And I don't think he and Qui-Gon Jinn got along too well all the time.**

 **_._._._._Elest, she didn't get along with a lot of people; maybe that's what she needed to learn.**

 **_._._._._Yetor Icin is one of the finest saber masters in the Temple, not something you usually see in a Bith, and I wouldn't have thought he would be interested in Qui-Gon Jinn's wanderings.**

 **_._._._._Jemjas hardly ever said anything, but she was strong in the Living Force; you could tell right away. She'd actually done this before. Guess she didn't get enough the first time.**

 **_._._._._Peortamadanatu Bon and Shaak Ti looked like they were just curious, like me.**

 **_._._._._We had three rotations. Our Padawans stayed back at the Temple. This was Master stuff. . . ."**

Eyes closed, Obi-Wan Kenobi saw Doombas's journey . . . .

An open transport whizzed along in the traffic lanes of Coruscant. The buildings were all short. No towers. All unfamiliar buildings on the far side of the city-planet from the Jedi Temple. But also very familiar. The ever-present traffic and buildings could look very much the same on a planet-wide metropolis.

Slowing, a transport dipped out of the traffic lanes to the immense raised platform of a rest-stop. Transports and speeders of various sizes lined the edges of the platform while drivers and passengers stretched, wandered about and went in and out of the rest-stop buildings in the center of the platform.

The Jedi climbed out, everyone automatically looking to their guide, Qui-Gon Jinn. Taller than all the others in his dark brown robe, long brown hair with barely a touch of gray, he stood at the edge of the platform and apparently admired the traffic patterns.

Shrugging, Yetor Icin scratched the side of his bulbous pale head and walked in the direction of the rest area buildings. With a few backward glances, the others followed in a loosely formed group. Doombas clacked along next to Jemjas, Shaak Ti behind them, next to the float chair that carried the small green Master Yoda.

 **_._._._._We were all too smart to do anything as obvious as** **ask** **Qui-Gon Jinn what was going to happen. Learning is in the experience. But after we finished at the freshers and grabbed a few snacks from the stands we all wandered back. But Qui-Gon Jinn wasn't alone.**

"Aaaaaaah, your disciples return," A stately male Human in a dark brown cape and Jedi tunics had arrived.

 **_._._._._There he was. The diplomat, standing right there. Qui-Gon Jinn's old Master. Dooku. He was taller than Qui-Gon Jinn, who is already pretty tall for a Human. He's taller than me at least.**

 **_._._._._Qui-Gon Jinn looked had had little indigestions, now having eight in the group and one his old Master, too. Aaaaaaah, and you could feel the tension in the Force. Not like they didn't get along. More like they didn't belong together anymore. But they used to.**

"Mmmmmmm, your presence missed much has it been at the Jedi Temple, Master Dooku," Yoda said, looking not surprised at all.

"I serve the Jedi Order as it demands. The Jedi Council has only to appoint another capable Master to my ambassadorial duties and I shall certainly be able to return," Dooku said, inclining his head toward his elder. Icin and Shaak Ti and all the others bowed to Dooku in greeting.

Yoda made a low grumble in his throat, nodding. "Much in demand your skills are. The Jedi Council is much pleased by your service."

"Thank you." Dooku smiled back. Next to him, Qui-Gon seemed to have accepted this unexpected addition.

"Pleased we are that join us for this journey you can," Yoda continued.

"It is fortunate that my duties allowed me this opportunity. I have been remiss all these years in not participating in my Padawan's quest sooner."

A flicker of suspicion flashed from Qui-Gon at Yoda before subsiding into acquiescence.

Dooku turned toward Qui-Gon. "Shall we begin?"

"We already have, " Qui-Gon replied with a serene and knowing smile.

"Oh, I do hate to be late," Dooku lamented. "Since we are limited to three rotations, and not the extended time you took on your original quest, then I must be more direct in declaring that I have come for enlightenment. And I would be most grateful for your guidance."

"I can guide," Qui-Gon acknowledged, "but only you can follow." He said this last part to the whole group before whirling about, taking a few running steps and leaping off the edge of the platform.

With an exasperated 'humph' Elest charged off the platform after him, the hood of her robe falling back off of her huge, frizzy hair. The others followed.

 **_._._._._It was a bit over-dramatic starting things off by plunging down into the lower levels of Coruscant. But I suppose drama has its place in things when you're looking for a revelation. We rode the Force all the way down, slowing up at the end just enough to land. I'd gotten used to my artificial leg. It's a machine, but when I need it, I can feel the Force connecting me to the ground through it. Not like real flesh or a lightsaber, but enough to get by.**

 **_._._._._We all faced Qui-Gon Jinn where we landed - some flat public space - deep in the canyons, only a band of sky light pretty far above, and Qui-Gon started to say something, but he got interrupted. . . .**

"I can guide you, but - - -"

WHMPH!

* * *

 ***-o-*-o-*-o-* End Part 1**


	2. Chapter 2

**NOT MEANT TO BE**

* * *

by ardavenport

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 ***-o-*-o-*-o-* Part 2**

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Qui-Gon spun around, flailing his arms wide before catching his balance and tugging his robe forward, which had pulled back from the weight of Master Yoda - minus his floater chair - who had snagged it and now firmly enmeshed himself in the hood on Qui-Gon's back.

 **_._._._._Heh-heh. Jinn didn't see that coming at all. I guess Dooku showing up really did throw him off his game.**

"I can guide you," Qui-Gon began again, "You can feel what I do through the Force as you follow where I go, but only you will know if you feel it in yourselves."

He inclined his head toward the group before turning about and leaving the public area, his robe swirling about his legs. Master Yoda looked back at the group from the folds of Qui-Gon Jinn's hood. The group followed, descending down stairs into the lower level walkways.

The late afternoon foot traffic was sparse. But as the sunlight waned above and the already shadowed walkways sank into twilight, glow globes winked on, signs flashed into brighter colors, inviting pedestrians to come in for entertainment, social life, food. The Jedi walked on through the thickening crowds.

 **_._._._._That's how it started. This is the part you can't squeeze into a holocron. That you have to go out and get for yourself. Your own perception of what the Force is. We were sharing Qui-Gon's perception, which is exceptionally strong in the Living Force.**

 **_._._._._They say the Living Force is the moment without time. That's exactly what it felt like. Feeling the whole crowd flowing around you. You flowing with it. You get a real perspective about how many people there really are just in one little part of Coruscant. That's too easy to forget isolated in the Temple. And they're all out doing things. Walking, eating, talking, fighting, loving, working, retching, dying, happy, sad, angry, afraid, bored, eager, desperate, or just existing.**

 **_._._._._It takes a Master to not get lost in all that. I'm not proud; I started out just keeping up, following Jinn's lead. But I found my center after a bit. At least enough to be really aware of what everyone else was doing.**

 **_._._._._Yoda, he was just gliding over the top of it all. He always enjoys anyone really connecting to the Force. It's really what he lives for.**

 **_._._._._Jemjas was just enjoying herself, too. She has a real affinity for this, being part of a crowd.**

 **_._._._._Elest and Yetor Icin had their attention on Qui-Gon Jinn so tight, I wonder if they even noticed that there were other people around. Elest has always been a bit narrow-minded, so I wasn't surprised by that. But Icin. . . . . he has such a fine talent with a saber; he's such a good teacher. . . . . I guess he needed to come on this journey.**

 **_._._._._Peortamadanatu Bon and Shaak Ti focused on Jinn as well, but they also had their eyes out around us, too, like me. Shaak Ti winked at me.**

 **_._._._._And Dooku. . . . . he was watching Qui-Gon Jinn. He wasn't pretending to be interested in the Living Force at all. Makes you wonder what he was really looking for. . . .**

 **_._._._._All right, what's that look supposed to mean?**

Obi-Wan Kenobi sat back, away from the accusing finger of the figure emanating from the top of the holocron. He blinked, jolted out of the narrative that had just been so real around him.

 **_._._._._Well?**

The Doombas image waited impatiently.

Obi-Wan folded his arms before him, across his chest.

"Dooku has gone to the Dark Side. He has become a Sith Lord and he is leading Separatist army in the war."

Dumbfounded, Doombas's holocron stared back at him.

 **_._._._._. . . . . . . .Oh. . . . . . I guess I wasn't expecting that.**

 **_._._._._.There wasn't any darkness in him then. I won't make any judgments about what he's done since. Technically, I'm not really real, you know.**

"I understand," Obi-Wan replied.

 **_._._._._.Well, anyway, getting on with it. . . . .**

Kenobi closed his eyes and the memories of his Master's past faded back into view.

The Jedi moved in a tight group through the crowded lower levels. It was night, the minimal reflection of natural light gone from above.

Their footsteps clanged on the metal grating of the wide walkway, even more beings and squalor below them. They had stopped at a row of street vendors earlier, but only stayed long enough to eat and refresh themselves. The crowds got noisier as the evening wore on with people out for entertainment and intoxication.

Finally, Qui-Gon Jinn climbed the steps into a hostel. The lobby smelled of stale machine grease with a noticeable whiff of ammonia.

The dingy droid behind the front desk clicked its eye sensors toward them.

"We wish to get a room for tonight only," Qui-Gon told it, holding out a credit chit. The droid's spindly hand swept it up and thrust it into a data slot on the cracked surface of the desk.

"Of course, Sir. I am TT-Em-Nine," it answered, having verified the new guests' ability to pay. "Please add your names to the register." Qui-Gon only put his own name down with 'and companions.' The droid did not seem to care. It pointed at a wall storage unit behind a metal gate which now opened for them.

"There are your sleeping mats and hygenic supplies for the night. There is a charge for any damage or excessive soilage." It handed Qui-Gon a key card which flashed with their room number and floor." Have a pleasant stay."

The Jedi each took their rented sleep rolls and niceties from the stacks, except for Yoda who was not much bigger than one of the rolls. He remained tucked neatly in the folds of Qui-Gon's hood, watching everything. The bedding was worn and smelled of singed fabric from being sterilized since the last guests had used them.

The lifts were just down the hall. The Jedi had to split into two different cars to go down to their room. Several sets of eyes and eye stalks belonging to the people loitering in the lobby glanced their way but none came near.

When they exited, they heard voices yelling at each other from behind one door in the hallway of many. Eyes peeked out of door cracks as they went by. Other noises, screeching, groaning, thumping came from behind some other doors they passed. Their room was near a dead end.

"Is there really a reason, Qui-Gon, why we must stay in this pest hole?" Dooku demanded after their door had closed behind the group. He tossed his sleep roll next to a wall. Their rented room was a bare enclosure with a tattered brownish-red carpet and a deactivated holo-window on the far wall. The tall box of the small fresher unit took up one corner of the room.

"When I first sought the Force outside the Temple," Qui-Gon answered, undisturbed by his former Master's displeasure, "I thought that I should seek out the places where there were the most people, living the most arduous lives." He sighed. "I was wrong."

"So, this excursion is pointless," Dooku concluded derisively.

"In the journey, the learning is," a voice behind Qui-Gon said. Master Yoda popped up from out of the taller man's hood and landed on the floor before settling down with his walking stick.

Dooku raised his eyebrows.

"Of course," he answered, his tone a bit less critical. "But I do hope that there will be less death and dismemberment this time than the first night my former Padawan first journey."

Everyone paused in laying out their bedrolls and looked up. Master Yoda's ears lowered and he rumbled a grumble of disapproval. Qui-Gon sighed.

"That, my former Master, was an unfortunate distraction."

"What?" Elest demanded, stepping forward and inserting herself between the two. "What death and dismemberment? What's supposed to happen?" She glared up at Qui-Gon who sighed. Dooku took advantage of the pause to go first.

"A local criminal tried to rob him in the street on his first night when he was buying dinner for himself from a street vendor. Qui-Gon dispatched the scum immediately." Dooku folded his arms over his chest. "I was called by the authorties and the Council was informed. And I really expected that incident would have conclusively proved to you that your connection to the Living Force was never in doubt. Yet you took over twenty more rotations, living among the unwashed plebes down here, to conclude that strength is somehow unrelated to your abilities as a Jedi."

Qui-Gon's expression showed a glint of annoyance, but Yetor Icin interrupted with a question about what happened.

Sighing, Qui-Gon stood back from the others and turning his back, he squared his shoulders and lifted his arms as if he was holding something. Sensing the demonstration to come, everyone else stepped back a few paces, some backed up to the walls.

Qui-Gon's lightsaber flew into his hand, the blade igniting, extending on the downward swing as he whirled around, his robe flying out around him. He finished the move in an instant, the after image the large circle he made still there after the blade disappeared.

"Oh," Yetor Icin commented. It was obvious to all the Jedi Masters that an unshielded bipedal robber attacking Qui-Gon from behind would have been dismembered and beheaded.

"That is a very cruel cut." Shaak Ti's dark eyes locked toward Qui-Gon's side where his lightsaber noe hung on his belt behind his robe.

Qui-Gon inclined his head. "It is what it was. My hand was guided by the Force alone."

"Of course it was," Dooku agreed impatiently, "and afterwards, the constables confirmed that this particular criminal was notorious for attacking with multiple weapons. If he had not been dispatched immediately, he could have done some significant harm. And yet you failed to see this as the confirmation of your powers that it was.

"My purpose was not to dispatch criminals."

"Really?" Dooku's dark brows rose in mocking surprise. "I was also told by the authorities after you returned to the Temple that the crime rate plummeted in the immediate area where you chose to stay."

Qui-Gon did not respond. He turned to finish laying out his bedroll on the piece of floor he had claimed. Most of the others did the same. . . .

. . . Except for Elest. She stood, clutching her bedroll to her body. She had not put it down as if she found the floor quite unacceptable. Her dark eyes darted from Qui-Gon to Yoda to Dooku and then to Jemjas who had been on this journey before. Jemjas was a Toomjek, of middle years and average height for a Humanoid, with dark blue skin and short thick green hair that grew down her neck and back, and covered the backs of her hands.

"I am unenlightened," Elest finally announced to Jemjas.

"I did warn you that you would find this training difficult, my friend," Jemjas spoke kindly.

Hugging the bedroll to her, Elest shook her head, her frizzy cloud of hair bouncing. "I don't like this place either." She spied a place by the wall next to Jemjas and threw her bedroll down.

"You should not carry expectations with you," Jemjas encouraged; she kneeled and smoothed out her own bedding. "Expectations are a bad habit for a Jedi. If you are always looking for what you expect to happen, you will miss what actually does."

"That's easy for you to say. You've already done this."

"Patience, Master Elest," Yoda admonished with a smile.

On her knees, Elest scrunched up her face and continued to smooth out her already flattened bedroll. Shaak Ti moved away to the other side of the room. Elest flopped her stout bottom onto the padding and sat cross-legged, brown robe and long tunic scrunched up around her.

"I feel I must ask," Elest went on a little more politely. "when we will advance a bit more toward some deeper of understanding of the Living Force?"

"In such a hurry you are?" Yoda asked. He shuffled toward Jemjas's bedroll and took a seat at the end.

Elest closed her eyes, gathering her thoughts. The others in the room found their places on their bedrolls and prepared to rest. And to watch. And listen. Except Dooku, who took his turn in the fresher.

"All we have done today is walk through the common places of the living. Our perceptions in the moment. Their moments. We teach younglings to do that. I would think that I was a little more learned than that," Elest announced.

"Hmmmm. Wisdom to be found in all lessons, it is. Especially the simple ones," Yoda reminded. He tilted his head at her. "Strong in the Living Force, your Padawan is, I believe."

"Yes," Elest admitted. "And Master Jemjas has been most helpful of late. But she said that I could learn much more from Master Qui-Gon. And I am having difficulty seeing that." Her eyes, shadowed under bushy hair in the cheap lighting of the room, looked toward their leader.

Everyone took their turn to confess why they had come.

 **_._._._._.Since I lost my leg, I've had quite a bit more time to contemplate the things that I used to be too busy to do. Going on Qui-Gon Jinn's Living Force quest is one of them.**

Shaak'ti and Peortamadanatu Bonwere just curious and this was the first chance they've had to do this. Shaak Ti likes to learn and train, and this is a perfect excursion for that. Peortamadanatu Bon had heard about it from a few other people and had the opportunity to come.

Yetor Icin said that he has focused so strongly on the lightsaber that he was beginning to feel that his range was too narrow and that was hindering him growing other ways.

Dooku came out of the fresher but did not offer any confession for the others who took their turns with the facilities. Master Yoda made a sleeping space for himself at the end of Master Jemjas's mat. She was short; there was plenty of room and she smiled as she lay down.

Peortamadanatu Bon, Shaak Ti and Elest sat up on their mats to meditate while the others lay down to sleep. Qui-Gon waved the lights down. At the other end of the hall outside, multiple people made grumbling, snuffling noises, their bodies thumping against the wall before a door opened and then closed on their stumbling merrymaking. That nor any of the other noisy late-night/early morning guests at the hostel disturbed the nine Jedi.

Early the next morning, after everyone had washed up and meditated, they checked out, handing mats and bedding to a big service droid with mismatched limbs that counted counted everything. They were not charged extra. After a quick stop at a street vendor for sustenance, a short walk brought them to what Qui-Gon said was their real test.

After staring at it for over a minute, Master Dooku surpassed the level of sarcasm in his tone from the day before.

"My former Padawan, you must be joking."

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 ***-o-*-o-*-o-* End Part 2**


	3. Chapter 3

**NOT MEANT TO BE**

by ardavenport

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 ***-o-*-o-*-o-* Part 3**

* * *

 **_._._._._.It was a bit funny, everyone's reaction. At least looking back at it now, it was funny. Not so much at the time, I suppose. And it wasn't just Dooku who was offended, Shaak Ti and Elest looked like Qui-Gon had served up steaming piles of poodoo for a second meal.**

"He wanted you to demolish a building?" Obi-Wan had stood up from the meditation pedestal in the Archives' private room. He saw himself, an invisible onlooker, standing with the other Jedi Masters on a platform surveying an enormous, decrepit structure, at least twice as big as the Jedi Temple, deep down in the morning shadows of the metaloid canyons of Courscant. Doombas, his guide, grinned.

 **_._._._._.Me, Peortamadanatu Bon and Yetor Icin were just surprised. And then we were offended when Qui-Gon Jinn showed us the holo of the owner of that derelict wringing his extensions and profusely thanking the Jedi for helping him in his time need. Seems he fell into some bad luck and didn't have the funds to demolish it. It and the volume it occupied were going to be confiscated by the Coruscant authorities if it wasn't taken down.**

"Demolition is not really a job for Jedi." Obi-Wan agreed.

 **_._._._._.No, it isn't. But it's not exactly out of bounds, either. And if you look at it, you could do all kinds of things with the Force besides wrecking buildings. But the Council and the Code discourage too much creativity, lest it lead you down to the Dark Side. I supposed we were safe from that at least with Master Yoda, the oldest member on the Jedi Council, there with us.**

 **_._._._._.And we weren't just supposed to destroy that old ruin. We had to deconstruct it so the reclaimers could haul off the pieces. Nine lightsabers might have been able to carve up that building, but cutting it up** **and** **sorting the pieces. . . . ? I wasn't seeing it getting done in two rotations. It was impossible.**

 **_._._._._.So, we got right to work.**

 **_._._._._.Me, Dooku, Elest, Peortamadanatu Bon, Shaak Ti and Yetor Icin started on the top level right away. Ripping off whole sections with the Force, cutting down everything else. Dooku, Yetor and Shaak Ti took the lead cutting things up. The rest of us sorted it and lowered it down to the base.**

 **_._._._._.Jemjas and Master Yoda knew what Qui-Gon was aiming at already. They just settled down with him for a nice, long two day meditation. I suppose if anyone knew what the secret was, it would be Master Yoda. But I couldn't see it; so I was going to take the hard way with the others.**

The sun rose high in the sky, cruising through its day cycle; clouds whizzed by; the traffic lanes turned to a blur in accelerated time. By the time Coruscant's primary star dipped down to the horizon, the shadows in the city canyons darkening to night, most of the top level was gone along with large sections of the one below it. There were at least thirty levels between that and the base where the pieces were stacking up.

The image of Master Doombas sighed.

 **_._._._._.Like I said, I didn't see us getting it done in time. Jemjas got us food. It was up to us to decide when to rest, get a room back at the hostel for the night if we wanted. None of us did. Dooku considered it a challenge and he was determined that his former Padawan would not best him. Elest and Yetor Icin were competing with Dooku. Don't know why. It's not like you ever get a prize at the end of these things.**

 **_._._._._.And I . . . . I started because I couldn't see not doing it. I kept thinking of that poor sod in the holo who took Qui-Gon Jinn's promise that he would not lose his business. But after a while I forgot about that. I was glad.**

Night passed into the second day. The lightsabers, green and blue flashed even faster, yet the bulk of the immense building remained below them.

 **_._._._._.I had not been handed this kind of challenge in a long time. Where I used all my abilities. Or what I still had left after losing my leg. The Force flowed through my living body. I stopped caring if we would actually finish this insane task pretty quick. The world was simple for a long while with nothing but our lightsabers and taking away what we chopped down. You know this kind of training. You give the student an impossible task; the learning is in finding out how you deal with it when you fail.**

General Obi-Wan Kenobi nodded his head. Qui-Gon Jinn could be very devious in assigning his Padawan training like this. But nothing this big. Yet . . . sometimes he wondered. . . . was the Clone Wars an impossible task? It certainly seemed that way sometimes. The Separatists always had more ships, more droid armies. With Count Dooku leading them. But Obi-Wan could not imagine failing to win the war. That was impossible. It could not. It would not happen.

The second day flew by into the second night, everything speeded up. But the dismantlement of the deserted building still moved at a crawl.

 **_._._._._.I was impatient. I stopped before dawn. I was grimy; my clothes smelled; my artificial leg was making a sound I didn't like. And I needed to relieve myself. I did that on the way back to the viewing platform.**

 **_._._._._.I asked why it took him so long to understand the Living Force when he was a Padawan. Why hadn't his encounter with the criminal on the first night been enough to prove the strength of his connection with the Living Force.**

General Kenobi gazed at his former Master's face, a vision brought back by the holocron.

Long dead, but still much missed.

He closed his eyes; Jedi were not supposed to mourn those who passed into the Force. Or yearn for their counsel when hope was scarce. He opened them again. Qui-Gon remained, a gentle smile on his lips as he looked up at Doombas.

Climbing to his feet. Qui-Gon Jinn was a head taller than Doombas, but just as broad. They were both bearded, Qui-Gon with more hair on top of his head, Doombas with much more and grayer hair in his beard.

Kenobi decided that is was still acceptable to prefer that Qui-Gon Jinn not be dead.

"I felt it was wrong that my power should be graded on my ability to dispatch a minor criminal. Strength in the Living Force should not be measured in death. So, I stayed on my quest." He paused. "Despite my Master's disapproval."

"So, what did you do all that time?"

"I worked. A local junk dealer saw the attempted robbery and after my Master and the police left he told me that if I was staying, he could give me room and board in his humble home." Qui-Gon folded his arms before him. Next to him, Jemjas and Master Yoda had gotten up to listen.

"The man's motives were fairly transparent. As long as I was in his home, none of the local criminals would bother him. The accommodations were little more than a cot in a closet, but I did not need more than that.

"Naturally, I helped out when my host asked. He had a family and too many debts and broken droids. I got along very well with one of his sons, Detrim. There was nothing more than comradeship between us, but I did enjoy his approval."

"So, what happened? When did you have your revelation?" Doombas put his hands on his hips and shifted his weight. His mechanical leg whirred and clicked. Behind him, the others had also abandoned the building demolition and climbed up to the viewing platform. Their clothes were sweat-stained and rumpled. Dooku and Elest carried their robes. The sky above was growing lighter, cloudless twilight turning blue. Behind them, the derelict building was still mostly there, the small piles of material at its base dwarfed by the work that was still undone.

"I failed my host."

Master Qui-Gon's face was peaceful as he spoke. "Detrim's father took on a large job that he should not have. Even if all his droids were working, it was too big for him. But he had blithely relied on me. And I helped. We had to remove outdated generators from a housing block and take them away for scrap."

Dooku, Elest, Yetor Icin, Peortamadanatu Bon and Shaak Ti arrived to hear this part of the story.

"We have failed now," Shaak Ti shook her head, her long gray-blue and white striped lekku waving with the motion. "And I feel none the wiser for it."

"I don't know why you asked us to move that mountain when you say you failed to remove some generators," Dooku futilely tried to brush the grime from his tunic and tabbards.

"I was quite capable of moving the generators," Qui-Gon answered. "I had been training hard for many days. My focus was absolute." He gazed downward into this past lesson. "But the building was still occupied with many people, many families with small children. Several of them made it a game to come up behind me. I was totally immersed in the Force, totally aware of my surroundings, but . . . . I did not see them until they distracted me.

"I dropped two generators onto the street. No one was hurt, but they fell quite far and caused a lot of damage. The owner of the building was furious and he fired my host immediately. Soon after, my host had to take his family to a more modest dwelling. I offered to pay their rent; I still had my credit chit, but they refused. I think my host was a bit angry that I had failed him. He told me to go back to the Jedi Temple. I asked Detrim what I could do to help. He was not angry at me. And he was used to his father's erratic fortunes. He sighed with more acceptance than had seen in many Jedi Masters." Qui-Gon and Dooku exchanged a complicated eye-lock of challenge and disappointment.

"He said, 'It wasn't meant to be.' And then he repeated what his father said, that it was time for me to go back to the Jedi Temple. But he said it in a much nicer tone." Qui-Gon quirked a smile.

"And that is when I knew that I had not done anything wrong when I dropped the generators. The Force was with me. Greater strength, more power would not have changed the outcome. My connection with the Living Force was not measured in my power or speed at killing, but in knowing what task I should be doing. And sometimes the will of the Force would be for me to fail. It was time for me to return to the Temple."

Everyone stood silent. Yoda's eyes twinkled with approval. Jemjas's round blue face smiled serenely. The others looked back at Jinn with varying degrees of understanding.

"Really?" Dooku's derisive tone broke the solemn moment. "And is that what you will tell the poor fool who is expecting this thing to be dismantled by now? That your failure the will of the Force?"

"We still have a little time before they arrive." Qui-Gon gazed at the immense building below their platform. "If we all work together, I'm sure we can make some respectable progress toward our goal."

Yetor's bulbous head tilted from side to side, his featureless unblinking black eyes fixed on Qui-Gon. Elest's eyes bulged with shock. "You must have taken leave of your senses. We can't do that!" her arm shot out, pointing. "It's huge!"

"Size matters not. With us, the Force is."

Everyone looked down at Master Yoda, serenely leaning on his cane.

 **_._._._._.Master Yoda had been telling every one of us about the limitless power of the Force ever since we were younglings. Elest looked like she was hoping a hole into hyperspace would swallow her up. Even Master Dooku had to swallow his pride and try with the rest of us. And he looked like he was going to choke on it.**

 **_._._._._. None of us could say no, it couldn't be done. We had to do it. So we all closed our eyes and reached out with the Force to that old wreck. I could feel the rusting beams and corroded supports like they were my own bones. Story after story. Abandoned rooms, empty doors, stripped equipment. I'd been in it for days. I knew what was there. But there was a whole lot of it. Enough to get lost in. But we could feel each other. All nine of us working together, pulling it apart . . . . "**

"Did you do it?" General Kenobi asked softly after a very long silence. "Were you able to dismantle it with the Force?"

 **_._._._._. No, of course not! We weren't taking apart our lightsabers. That think was huge!**

Kenobi jumped back. The Doombas image waved its hands as it explained.

 **_._._._._. We just sort of loosened the whole structure - which was actually pretty impressive, considering how big it was. It pancaked down on itself. It was a third as tall as it was when we started. But it was still all there. Even worse, parts of it fell on the pieces that we'd sorted, so that was all ruined, too. The dust was still settling when the owner showed up with the reclaimers and Coruscant inspectors. She almost fainted when she saw that it was still there.**

"So, you failed. Was she ruined by it?"

Doombas's holo face leered back.

 **_._._._._. No. The reclaimer announced the he was so impressed that the owner got Jedi to help him that he would cover the costs himself and clear the wreckage, as long as the owner took a half return on the reclaimed materials. She didn't like it. But it spared her from bankruptcy court. The reclaimer had good connections and could get an extension with the Coruscant inspectors. And. . . .**

The Doombas image snickered.

 **_._._._._.The reclaimer's name was Detrim. Jinn had it all set up to have it turn out all right for the owner, no matter we did.**

Kenobi shook his head. "I do not understand."

 **_._._._._. I told you at the beginning that you should take this journey yourself.**

"No. I do not understand what you learned from it. You must have learned something, or you wouldn't have made this holocron."

 **_._._._._. I didn't learn anything at first. I was just as lost as some of the others. But then I saw Jinn paling around with Detrim. Those bastards. But that made me remember what Detrim told Jinn when he was a Padawan learner.**

 **_._._._._. It wasn't' meant to be.**

 **_._._._._. I'd been working with the others for days on that building. The Force strong in us, between us. And when we all worked together, it was even stronger with a single purpose, pure, no emotion, no fear of failure. It was just us and what we had to do. For that time and place the Force could not have been stronger with us because . . . . it matters what you're doing with it. It matters why. Being stronger, faster, more powerful doesn't change that if what you're doing wasn't meant to be.**

The holo-image looked down. And suddenly one of the good legs it stood on transformed into clicking metal and plastoid.

 **_._._._._. I lost my leg in a mission for the Jedi Order. My own Padawan dragged what was left of me into our ship and I lived. I stopped the bleeding with the Force. I blocked the pain and the shock with the Force. I kept my focus and calmed my Padawan who was terrified when she saw my injury. I drew every breath with the Force until we returned to our command ship and the medical droids there stabilized me. . . . .**

 **_._._._._.. . . . but somehow I wasn't strong enough to keep the leg on in the first place with the Force?!**

Doombas shouted and shook his fists. And stomped his feet, one real, one artificial.

Then the rage drained out of him. He let it go.

 **_._._._._.That's when I realized; it wasn't meant to be. And I'd been living with that question inside me for a long time. I was too afraid to admit that it was even there until I went on Qui-Gon Jinn's little quest.**

 **_._._._._.I failed that mission. Spectacularly. And I suppose I could have done other things and succeeded and come out of it whole. But I didn't. And being more powerful, powerful enough to take a whole building apart and stack it up into neat piles wouldn't have let keep that leg.**

Obi-Wan bowed his head. He wasn't sure he understood. Being more powerful with the Force didn't matter? Then why were only the most powerful Jedi appointed to the Council? Why were the most powerful Jedi appointed to be generals in the war? He admitted his ignorance. Doombas did not seem to mind.

 **_._._._._.You're not expected to get it on the first try. Go meditate on it. That's the Jedi cure for all ignorance. But I should tell you something, since you were Qui-Gon Jinn's Padawan . . . .**

 **_._._._._.The others at least saw a glimmer of what Qui-Gon was trying to teach them. But Dooku thought the whole thing was a waste of time. He said so, too. He thought that Qui-Gon was just making excuses for failure. He left the Temple as soon as we got back.**

 **_._._._._.I talked to Qui-Gon Jinn about it, and he admitted that after that first time, he never saw Dooku, his Master, the same way again. And he was disappointed that he had not changed since then. It did not really matter. Qui-Gon Jinn passed his Trials not long after that first journey and he was no longer Dooku's apprentice. I don't know if they ever worked together on a mission again.**

 **_._._._._.Jinn told me that it wasn't meant to be for his old Master. But he looked like he was having a hard time choking down his own lesson. I think he really wanted to see Dooku understand. He didn't.**

 **_._._._._.And given what you told me about Dooku . . . . where has being a more powerful Jedi gotten him?**

* * *

 ***-o-*-o-*-o-* END**

* * *

(Epilogue to follow)


	4. Chapter 4

**NOT MEANT TO BE**

by ardavenport

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 ***-o-*-o-*-o-* EPILOGUE**

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Tatooine's twin suns sank low near the horizon, casting long shadows on the barren landscape. Tiny desert creatures skittered and snapped in the waning light when the air turned temperate halfway between blazing day and desolate chilly night.

All of them suddenly alerted, eyes and antenna swiveled in the same direction.

They scattered away from the faint but growing sound of footsteps over the sand, rocks and stones and from the scent of a two-legged desert dweller.

A lone robed figure trudged up a bluff to an isolated hut overlooking the Dune Sea.

Stopping in front of the hut, Ben Kenobi reached up and took off the hood of his robe, exposing his badly graying hair.

"I suppose this was meant to be." he said to the empty air before going inside.

He gazed at the modest pale stone hut. When he left very early that morning, he was really not sure if he would see it again. Even the hardened locals, the Sand People, did not cross the desert alone.

As he set out when the sky was barely lightening, he had thought about Master Doombas's holocron, viewed in a different time and place, and about his old Master's training in the Living Force. Exiled and in hiding from the Galactic Empire, he had plenty of time to ponder this half-digested lesson. But after a day of journeying, all he could see was that he was meant to be on Tatooine. And the other things that were meant to be were . . . unthinkable.

Literally.

When Kenobi thought about the lost war, the destruction, the darkness shadowing the worlds of the whole galaxy and the fallen Jedi, their light gone . . . . his mind simply stopped. The loss was so huge. He was not sure if this was acceptance of what happened, or just numbness.

And he could still feel a deep yearning for what was apparently not meant to be. The Jedi winning the Clone War, defeating the Sith Lord, Darth Sidious, peace in the galaxy, the Force in balance . . . . his apprentice not falling to the Dark Side. . . .

He wearily pulled his arms free of his pack and the mostly-empty water tank inside it. It dropped to the floor and thumped by the wall. On pure reflex, he went outside and checked the indicators on the vaporators outside. Everything was about water on Tatooine. Satisfied with the readings, he went back inside.

If nothing else, Kenobi reflected, he had cemented his reputation as a 'crazy old hermit' by walking to Anchorhead. And back. Nobody did that, neither by day nor night.

He had not had much choice. The eopie he used for transportation died. He knew the animal was getting old, but he was not expecting to find it dead in the morning a few days ago. He had briefly considered cutting it up and drying it out to eat later, but he had no appetite for it. An eopie elderly enough to die of old age would be very tough and stringy. He had plenty of food stores. So, he dragged the carcass far enough away from his hut so the vermin it would attract could feast on it without bothering him.

He had looked at the limited speeder selection in Anchorhead when he was buying minor supplies and spare tech for his hut, but none of them were of very good quality; he would not trust them to reliably get him all the way to Mos Eisley. And it would just be another thing that needed fuel or fixing or recharging. If he needed to carry any large supplies, he would hire a speeder and a droid for the occasion and send it back when he was done with it.

Sitting down, he gazed at his modest abode. How easily his thoughts dodged into the triviality of a speeder but shied away from the vastly larger mystery, a disturbance unresolved after his long trek in the desert.

The things not meant to be still remained, clinging to his heart . . . if the Jedi had found the Sith sooner. If the Council had recognized the danger when they first emerged on Tatooine and Naboo . . . Perhaps even Qui-Gon might not have died.

/It was meant to be./

The words stung, but Kenobi sighed as he always did at the feather-touch of his Master's presence in the Force. He fell into the moment.

/You must let the past go, Obi-Wan. There is still light in the darkness, even if we cannot foresee how it will come. In young Luke. In Yoda. In you./

There was hope. That made him smile. Tatooine's suns had set. Night came quickly in the desert and the room had turned to gray on darker grayshapes and shadows with a few indicator lights from the little tech he had, yellow and white dots in the gloom.

'I have accepted the past, my Master. But . . . . ' Kenobi's memories lingered on Qui-Gon's quest for the Living Force. 'And I find it acceptable that I prefer that you not be dead.'

The gentle presence of Qui-Gon Jinn remained, a reply of wordless acceptance. The shadows in the little hut grew darker, but Ben Kenobi could feel the Force, the Light, inside him.

* * *

 ***-o-*-o-*-o-* END**

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 **Disclaimer:** This story first posted on tf.n on 2-Apr-2016. All characters and the Star Wars universe belong to Disney/Lucasfilm; I am just playing in their sandbox.


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